Recruiting
by Lady Jarine
Summary: Voldemort has a plan, a wonderfull plan, a plan that will not fail. He knows exactly how to recruit new Death Eaters: MacDonalds and Musicals.


**Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor A Chorus Line, and if you wish to contradict me, then I would recommend a strong round of shocking spells at St. Mungo's.**

**Recruiting**

The stage was set. All the Death Eaters were in place. The plan was flawless. Lord Voldemort had finally discovered the perfect recruiting grounds for new Death Eaters. The only strange thing was that he couldn't imagine why nobody had thought of this before. "_Geesh, if Grindewald had thought of this, he might just have won that war,"_ thought Voldemort as he went over his last-minute plans. No, nothing would go wrong, and by the end of the day, he would have swelled his Death Eater ranks by a mind-blowing amount. Plus, they would all get free food.

Yes, nothing could ruin the brilliantness of Lord Voldemort's brilliant plan! For where better to recruit evil minions than… MCDONALDS!

Everything was ready. The doors were open. Now all they had to do was wait for a customer. Oh, and hope that said customer wasn't some stupid muggle, although killing might have helped settle his stomach (our favourite evil wanna-be overlord made the mistake of eating a Big Mac at six am, which is never a good idea).

The bell hanging over the door chimed, signaling that someone had entered the restraunt. They listened with bated breath as the sets of footsteps approached the counter, then, suddenly, they sprang into action.

It started with the music.

Then all of the male Death Eaters slowly made their way out of the kitchens, wearing tap shoes and dancing in perfect rhythm. They all looked very professional and uniform, especially with the McDonalds outfits. They started singing:

"One singular sensation

Every little step he takes.

One thrilling combination

Every move that he makes!

One curse and suddenly nobody else, will, do;

You know you'll never be lonely with You-Know-Who!

One moment in his presence

And you can forget the rest.

Voldemort is second best

To none,

Son.

Ooh! Sigh! Give him your attention!

Do… I… really have to mention

He's the one?

He walks into a room

And you know"

At this point, the female Death Eaters came out in sequined outfits, much like the Rockettes. They were also wearing tap shoes, and they danced out in front of the men, who remained dancing in the background. They started singing their part, with flawless tone and pitch:

"He's un-

Commonly rare, very unique,

Peripatetic, poetic and chic."

The men danced up between the women, so that there was one big line, alternating male and female. They started doing more fancy choreography, each with a partner. They all began to sing together:

"He walks into a room

And you know from his

Cruciatus, effortless kills

He's an evil lord,

Cur-sing,

Can't, help,

All of his enemies cursing.

Loaded with charisma is my

Jauntily sauntering, ambling shambler.

He walks into a room

And you know you must

Shuffle along, join the parade.

He's the quintessence of making the grade.

This is whatchya call

Trav-ling.

Oh., strut your stuff!

Can't get enough

Of him.

Love him.

I'm a son of a gun,

He is one of a

Kind."

They then separated into the women and the men again, singing their parts simultaneously. Everything was going according to plan. "_Whoever that customer is is BOUND to join my ranks after this!" _Voldemort thought to himself as he sat waiting in the kitchen. Why hadn't he thought of this sooner?

The Death Eaters had once again gotten into their giant line for the finale. They all put their arms around the shoulders of the people next to them and started doing the can-can.

"One singular sensation

Every little step he takes.

One thrilling combination

Every move that he makes!

One curse and suddenly nobody else, will, do;

You know you'll never be lonely with You-Know-Who!

One moment in his presence

And you can forget the rest.

Voldemort is second best

To none,

Son.

Ooh! Sigh! Give him your attention!

Do… I… really have to mention?

He's the…

He's the…

He's the…

One!"

Voldemort slid out from behind the counter on his knees, doing jazz hands like his life depended on it. Not like he was really alive anymore, but you get the point. What followed was an extremely awkward silence.

"Well, thanks for the offer, but we were just looking for some cheeseburgers," said a mentally scarred Harry Potter, while Hermione was standing behind him with her head on her hand, and Ron lying on the ground laughing.

THE END!

_A/N: So yeah, this is what happens when my sister and I get bored. We've been joking around with this idea for ages, and I kept meaning to do a one-shot for it, but here you go, it's finally here. Hope you enjoyed it, and if not, well, that's not really my problem, is it? Oh, and this would have the simultaneous girl/guy parts written out, but my computer won't let me copy paste from the internet for some reason, so I was writing this all out by hand, and I really didn't want to do that. So if you don't like it, read my response to the people who don't like the fic :)_

_Please review and let me know what you think!_


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